I Fail at Summer

Yes, you read that right. I fail at summer. Most people, you know normal people, are looking forward to summer. My fellow teachers are literally telling me how many days until summer (20 by the way) as I walk out the door each day. I on the other hand am suffering from anxiety over summer. This is coming from the same person who loves Mondays, so yeah, I need to be confined in a straight jacket. As my dad would say, "you better watch out for the fool catcher".

So I'm hear to confess that I can't do summer and I love Mondays.

I'm sure right now you are confused as to what I mean when I say I can't do summers.

Let me try to explain.

I know what you are thinking. Don't she have a kid? I get ya because a kid will keep you busy exausted. When Jack went to regular daycare I kept him home for the summer. He now goes to a Christian preschool and although I would love to save four hundred a month, the positives of going through the summer outweigh that money. For one, I don't want him to lose his spot. Two, he learns so much. Three, I don't want to mess with his schedule. Could you imagine me taking him out for the summer and then having to transition back once school starts back? Just the idea of him screaming for me when I took him back is worth more than 400 a month.

Now you really hate me. A summer off work and no kiddo during the day. What in the world am I complaining about?

After 34 years I know me. I need schedule and pressure. Yes, I can make a list of things to do and all but just to keep it real-if I ain't gotta do it, then I probably ain't gonna do it. I like home. When I have plans, even plans I am looking forward to, and they get canceled, a little part of me is happy.

The first week of summer will be glorious. I'll enjoy not putting on makeup, not having to drive 45 minutes to work, and I'll enjoy getting to catch up on tv. Like I said, the first week will be wonderful. I'm looking forward to that week like no other.

Eight days in and I'll be going crazy. Even if I had unlimited funds I would still be going crazy because I crave the structure of a schedule. I need the pressure and the expectations.

Sitting around doesn't make me feel good. I get bogged down in it. It doesn't take me long before being lazy becomes chronic. You know how it is, sitting around makes you need to sit around more. You lose your energy level quickly.

I've owned this about myself so now I'm on the search for a solution. I'm thinking I need to put myself on a schedule. I've been looking for a summer job but there isn't much available in a town where everything closes at nine.

What I really need to know is that I'm not alone in my odd ways. And if you are someone who fails at time off please tell me so we can be crazy together, and if you have overcome this, I need to know the cure.