I'm impatient. Like really impatient.
It is not a quality I enjoy but it's me and I'm learning to work through it.
When I bought my first house I REALLY wanted a house. I had been paying an outrageous amount of rent and I want a place of my very own that I could do with whatever I wanted. I wanted a house so badly that I pretty much bought the first thing in my budget that I liked well enough. Yeah, not the smartest criteria.
It didn't take me long to realize I had made a hasty decision. It wasn't an awful house but there were some things that were must haves that I wavered on once I realized I could be moving into my own house. Several days I had to live with my choice and that isn't how you should feel.
Sometimes it works in my favor. Nine years ago I was teaching high school history and wasn't really loving it. The "kids" were a little rougher than I think I am made to handle. Work wasn't my happy place and I wanted a change.
One day I saw a sign in the bathroom about a masters program and I signed up that day. Eighteen months later I had a new addition to my teaching license and three months before that I was hired to be JBE's new school librarian. Life was moving quickly because I was impatient.
The biggest decision of my life was made with the same impatient mind. I got married and started a family. Even when the warning whistles were going off I had my eyes on the prize-a family of my own. This decision isn't one I regret because I got the greatest gift from it-Jack. Regardless of the blessings I received, it was a decision of impatience.
Sometimes my impatient works out and sometimes it does not.
What I take away from this is that I could still walk away with wonderful things in my life and still be patient.
I'm in another phase in my life where I want to rush.
I have to learn to be still. I have to learn to love what I have. I have to appreciate what I know. Living in the moment now can be rewarding.
But being patient is hard-like really hard.
I want what I want and I want it now.
I can't let that attitude get in the way with what I have now. Right now I have to sit in my time. Let things unfold slowly.
The work has to be done. The time has to be put in. I have to learn to wait.