On His Birthday

Today is my husband's birthday. That's weird. He is my husband and we aren't together. Reminds me of the Friends episode where Ross is losing it and saying I don't know where my wife is. I feel him now. I don't know where my husband is.

Days leading up to his birthday I kept feeling like I was forgetting something. I'd remember, "oh I need to get J a birthday present". Then I would have to remind myself that I didn't. His girlfriend will be agonizing over what to get him this year. A part of me is relieved because he was always so hard to shop for but mainly it is just sad.

I'm not sure if I was suppose to get him something from Jack. Is that the right thing to do? I know it would be the nice thing to do but since he isn't being so nice then maybe I shouldn't be either. Then I wonder if I'm just being petty. Do I send him a card? Do I even send a happy birthday text? Do I just try and stay busy that day to keep my mind off of it all?

The idea of him celebrating when he has turned our lives upside down makes my skin crawl a little. She is going to make him a cake. She is going to wrap his presents. She is going to wish him a happy birthday first. I'm his wife.

On his 35th birthday he will be a married man living with his girlfriend. On his 35th birthday I'll be a married woman living with her parents. On his 35th birthday my son Jack will be 2 with married parents.