In my mid to late twenties all I wanted in the world was a child. I've always loved children and I really wanted one of my own to do all the things kids love. I was going to be super mom and I couldn't wait. As with most things, the idea and the reality were very different. The expectations I set for myself were unattainable. I'd lost my passion and got caught up in a defeatist attitude.
I've had enough and right in that moment I decided to renew my motherhood vows.
I vow to have fun.
I vow to start letting little things go.
I vow to incorporate Jack into the daily chores instead of trying to keep him away while I work.
I vow to lean into the hard stuff.
I vow to pick my battles and to be okay with losing some.
I vow to make Jack laugh more often.
I vow to be silly.
I vow to roll with the chaos.
I vow to give myself permission to feel down but I vow to get back on track.
I vow to chill out.
Since Friday when I renewed my motherhood vows I've done well. Here is an inside look into some key moments into my renewed relationship with motherhood.
Jack and I went outside and really played instead of me sitting with my face in my phone.
When Jack and Bennett decided they needed chocolate milkshakes I made them and let them help. They loved it.
When Jack asked to have the milkshakes outside I said sure and we all headed outside.
Saturday morning Jack declared he needed a donut. Instead of leaving him with my mom while I went, I bundled him up and we sang thanksgiving songs in the car and I let him pick what donuts he wanted.
I was trying to watch Designated Survivor and Jack kept jumping in my lap because my attention wasn't on him so I paused it and we had a tickle fight.
I almost lost my cool, okay I did a little, when Jack spit his milk all over my bed. I acknowledged my bad temper and let it go.
Jack and Bennett wanted chocolate milk and Bennett kept licking the drippings on the bottle. I told them to open their mouths and I squirted chocolate in their mouths and let them chase it with milk. They thought it was hilarious and I got a big laugh also.
I know I'll fumble and a time will probably come where I'll need to renew my motherhood vows again but that is okay. As long as I'm trying to be the best mother I can be then I can't be that bad.
What would be one of your motherhood vows?