My New Oasis

This is something I never thought I would say BUT I love going to the gym. Yes, the place that many people hate going to. The place that I use to hate going to. It took me a few visits for me to grow to love it but now we are lovers. Every day I look forward to my hour of Ashley time.

There are no kids there! I love kids. Hey, I even have my own little munchkin that I adore. No matter where else I go there are kids...work, the store, a restaurant, Facebook, home. My life is all about kids and I love my job as teacher and mother but man is it nice to have an hour where I am surrounded by myself. Earbuds go in and just like that, it is just me.

I live in a very small town so the gym is never busy. The most people that have been in there at the same time as me was four. It's a great gym and even comes with free tanning.

Currently, I am doing the couch to 5k program. After the first week my body seemed to fall in pace with the workout. My mind and body was enjoying it and I didn't feel like I was dying. Once I finish the cardio workout I hit the weight machines. I focus on my arms one day and my legs the next. Most days I go into the tanning bed for a few minutes. I don't want to look like one of those too tan gals but I enjoy a little color. Plus, I really love laying in the heat and just relaxing after my workout.

The other day I saw a friend there (she has 3 girls) and she confessed that sometimes she just comes up there, lays in the ab lounger, and watches Criminal Minds (they have a DVR where you can record shows). Great idea friend, great idea!

I'm to the point now where my body and mind crave the gym. I'm anxious to get there. I know how great I feel during and afterwards. Now instead of coming home from work feeling like I have to push myself to get things done, I now go to the gym and feel energized after I leave. Although I am spending an hour less with Jack each day, I feel like the benefits of my energy make up for that hour. Once I come home from the gym I have all the energy I need to play with my little guy and get the things done that need to be done each night.

My new oasis is physically and mentally making me happy. I love having a place for me and the scale is starting to not scream so loudly.

Do you have your own personal oasis?

Where Did That Girl Go?

Sunday morning I got the bright idea to read all of my old Facebook posts. It's like reading a diary backwards. I'm not a huge Facebook status poster so it didn't take me nearly as long as it would for some people. When I got to 2010 I saw where I posted 2 pictures of myself. I was so surprised by her face that I took a screenshot so I could easily take another look. Something about the girl in those pictures made me smile.

Before I continue, here is the screenshot:

Later I went back and pulled the picture up and once again I couldn't stop smiling. I knew that the girl in those pictures was happy. 

The top picture, as you can see, was taken on my 28th birthday. Not only was that moment such a fun one, but that whole day and night was one of the best nights I've ever had. Us girls still  talk about that ledgendary night. We had spent the day at the horse races, went and ate a real meal, went back to our friend Lisa's house to get ready, and then went to my favorite bar of all time-Boot Scooters. Sadly, Boot Scooters relocated after a fire and it isn't the same. We had a few really great nights at the old Boot Scooters, but the night of my 28th birthday was by far the best. 

The bottom picture was taken to show off the one whole wall I painted. I was moving into my own home. A single girl with a world of possibilities. I painted an accent wall and I was feeling quite proud of myself. The one thing I notice about this picture is my skin looked really good. I'm not sure what I was doing but I need to do that again so I could have that great skin back. I remember taking this picture and I didn't appreciate how happy and fresh I looked and felt. 

The girl in both of those pictures waas like a Spanish explorer, ready to discover a new world. My life was open and full of what could be. My future was a blank slate and I awoke each morning excited to see what life had in store for me. 

I don't write this post with saddness, but with hope. I firmly believe that if I once felt that much passion for life then I can feel it again. I'm not depressed but my passion and thirst for life has dwindled. I want that inner push. I also wouldn't mind having that skin back.

Quotes That Relate To Me

Sometimes you have to make light of the things that life throws at you. 

I try to remind myself of this every morning. To fully be the person that makes other people feel important would be great.

I love this one. I often care too much about what others have to say. It reminds me to not take everyones words to heart. This one really applies to my relationship with my ex. 

I love music. I just thought this one could resonate with everyone.

It takes hard work to get where you want to be. 

This one is oh so true. When you have repeated mistakes before then the future is scary because the last thing you want to do is repeat those mistakes again and you know you have it in you to do just that. 

I miss having that feeling of wanting to jump out of bed and get to working towards something I am passionate about. I want to get back to being that person and I'm working on it.

I'm a goal oriented person and I believe it is important to take a daily inventory.

I believe this is so true. You have to remind yourself to change the way you think.

Oh how true this is for everyone. I forget too often how blessed I am. 

Do you have a favorite quote?

Active Mama *Feb-March

I use to participate in a link up called Active Mama but my friend no longer blogs. Basically what it was you did fun things with you child, wrote up a post, and linked up. It was so much fun reading and learning about new fun ideas. Another great part was the planning process because beforehand you would come up with things you wanted to do in order to keep yourself accountable and also to help yourself get any materials together or planning done.

This is one of the Active Mama activies I did with Jack from before. 

I've decided I would try to write up my Active Mama goals and then post how I did. If all goes well then I just might make it a link up again. So here I go, my Active Mama goals for the rest of February and  also March.

1// Make a letter matching game for Jack and I to play. I want to either get 2 decks of flashcards and have him match them that way, or make something at work using the cutting machine and some cardboard. Obviously, I'm going to try the flashcards first because that sounds a lot easier. Maybe if I did flashcards I could anchor one deck to something somehow and then put velcro to the back of the second deck. Is this making any sense??? Like maybe staple the first deck to a cheap but semi thick tablecloth and then let him velcro the matching letters. We could just spread the tablecloth on the table to play or lay it out on the floor. We need to do this activity at least twice a week.

2// Pipe cleaners through colander activity. I would like to do this activity at least 5 times.

3// Sort pom poms by color. i would like to do this activity at least 3 times.

4// Read more to Jack. You would think as a librarian that I would read more to my child. He doesn't care to sit still very long. I need to do better at getting him use to listening. I can find shorter books and get him more involved. My goal is at least one book a day right before bedtime.

5// Take Jack to The Wonder Place. We took Jack there once awhile back and I would like to take him again now that he is a little older. It is almost two hours away but it is so much fun. I think he would really enjoy it more now. It has lots of learning activities. I want to do this once.

6// Water painting. Just take construction paaper and give him a paint brush and a small container of water. Hopefully this will be one of those activities that will keep him busy while I do small tasks like wash dishes or fold laundry. I want to have him do this activity at least 4 times, maybe more depending on how well he does. I'm a little worried he is going to dump the water out.

7// Color. Jack colors at school. We tried coloring here some but it has been awhile. I would like to try again. Maybe coloring can be the activity we do right after bathtime. Hopefully, it will continue to keep him relaxed instead of him getting all hyped back up after bathtime. My goal is to start making this a routine for after bathtime. We do bathtime six nights a week. This goal can easily change depending on how well he does.

8// Make and use a penguin playdough mat. I may also make other playdough mats to use. My goal is for Jack to do this activity once a week.

Things to buy:
/2 decks of alphabet cards
/velcro
/pompoms
/pipe cleaners
/construction paper
/playdough

Things to do:
/print off penguin playdough mat and laminate
/staple alphabet cards to tablecloth
/put velcro on alphabet cards
/gather books to read


You can read a few of my old Active Mama posts from my old blog by clicking here, here, and here.

Are there any goals you want to accomplish with your kid(s) this month?

Working On Me

I mentioned in this post last week that I'm reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Today I wanted to share with you a little about habit one which is "be proactive".

It really hit home with me because with my current situation I needed to be reminded that there are things I can control and other things I can't. In life there are problems that either fall into the circle of influence (things you can control) or circle of concern (things you can't control). Spending your time and energy focusing on what falls into the circle of concern is a waste. Your focus should stay within the circle of influence.

Working on yourself first is key. Setting a standard of character is crucial. You should practice being the person you want to be. I know that sounds silly but it does take practice. Practice makes habit. One thing you can start doing is keeping promises to yourself. Your life is all about choices and you are the one who chooses to be happy, mad, sad, pissed off, or whatever other emotion you want to feel. You have to be proactive.

If you are proactive and focus on your circle of influence (the things you can control) your circle of concern gets smaller. If you are a reactive person and focus on the circle of concern (the things you can't control) then your circle of influence gets smaller which makes more problems for you. 

Here is an example: I can not control the attitude or behavior of my ex. I can focus on it and react to it but what does it help? It doesn't help my end game which is making sure Jack is happy. I can instead be proactive and focus on me and how I behave. Let me add this. In order for this to work it has to be real. You can't play yourself which means you have to really be dedicated in becoming a better person. 

It is important to not react to a problem or situation but instead be proactive. Outsmart the situation. You are the only person who is responsible for your life. Blaming others is much easier but pointless and gets you nowhere. Saying things like "well I get it from my dad" is putting your actions onto others.

I've spent a little over a week working on habit one. It's amazing how much my life has already changed for the better. It's not easy facing things head on but it makes me feel stronger.

I've started on number two which is "keep the end in mind".  One of the main exercises in chapter two is to write a Personal Mission Statement. It gives you focus and makes you the leader of your life. I'm going to start working on mine soon. I know it is not going to be an easy task. It is going to take a lot of thought and soul searching.

What item would you put in a Personal Mission Statement?

Keeping the End in Mind

One of my goals for January was to read a nonfiction book. I'm one of those people who happen to love nonfiction just as much as I love a good fiction read. At work the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has been sitting around and in a moment of downtime I picked it up and was hooked.

I won't give the book away because honestly I couldn't. It is so indepth that I wouldn't really know where to begin. One exercise that I believed was truly powerful was for the reader to imagine their funeral. You then picture 4 types of people getting up to say a few words. One person from your family, one friend, one person from your work, and lastly someone from the community. What words would you want these people to use to describe you?

Once you can really imagine and see yourself how you want others to see you then you can start working on being that person in those facets of life.

I started off by making a chart like the one below.

Under each category I though of five things I would want to go under each one. It really was quite difficult. After awhile this is what I finally came up with.

As you can see there is not one for Service/Community. This is one area in my life where I am currently lacking. Although this hasn't always been the case it currently is. I'm going to make this area of my life a mission. It took doing this exercise to realize how uninvolved I am in my own community. 

I'm going to print out these three pictures and put the family one in my bedroom where I can see it, the friends print in my car, and the work one at my desk. These are going to make great reminders of what I want to strive to be each day.